InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Break the law, disobey gravity"

Jeannie Lampanelli (neverduplicated) wrote,
@ 2009-08-10 13:12:00

[OOC: The only people she allows to read her journal are her Doctors and her current 'master'. Anyone else probably wouldn't be able to read it, unless they saw it lying around somewhere...which is possible, because sometimes she forgets where she put it down.]

This sucks.

Like, this really sucks.

Just when I start getting used to a new doctor, BAM!, they go and switch things up on me.

Dr.Angel, Dr.Van Dort, Dr.Winters, Dr.Dorian, and Dr.Cuddy didn't work out, so now I have not only one new doctor but two!

ARE THEY TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE CRAP?

What if they both bail on me? Then I'm going to have to get doctor number seven. It's really not fair. As soon as I tell one of them something, I get another one, and have to tell that one what I told the other one.

I swear, I go through more doctors than a the average person goes through paper towels.

Which is a lot.

Meh. Hmph. Bleh. Rawr.

Well Dr.Dove, Dr.Calumet...are you ready for the cursed patient who seems to make every doctor go POOF?

(Post a new comment)

	angryjohnny 2009-08-11 04:09 am UTC (link)
	Maybe you just aren't crazy... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	neverduplicated 2009-08-11 05:28 am UTC (link)
	...you don't think I'm off my rocker like everyone else does? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angryjohnny 2009-08-11 05:33 am UTC (link)
	No, I don't. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	neverduplicated 2009-08-11 05:38 am UTC (link)
	Really? So, you believe me? That I can grant people's wishes? I know I haven't been able to grant you all of yours yet, but...I will. I can. I just need some more time... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angryjohnny 2009-08-11 05:49 am UTC (link)
	I don't know if it means anything. I believe in things that no one else believes in, and they sent me here....and they say I;m crazy, and sometimes they say I will never leave. But yeah, I believe you, Jeannie. How could I not? I've...I've looked into your eyes. And it's ok. I don't think my wishes were meant to be granted. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	neverduplicated 2009-08-11 06:03 am UTC (link)
	It means a lot, actually... No one ever believes me. Everyone says I'm crazy, too. The only way I'll ever be able to leave, is if I start believing I can't do the things I know I can do... They want me to be someone I'm not...something I'm not. And I don't think that's true at all...otherwise I wouldn't be trying so hard to make them come true for you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

angryjohnny
2009-08-11 06:10 am UTC (link)

But you aren't crazy. You're just good. Too much good for this place. For this world. You're all light and they don't see it, can't see it, their vision obscured by their own shadows, by the milky-eyed blindness that's bred and cultivated in the dark.

You aren't crazy, Jeannie, and you should just be....who you are.

I know you don't think it's true, Starlight. You're too light for things like impossibilities. Why can't I just wish for you to be able to get out of here, and do...whatever you want to do with your life? You weren't meant to be locked away, Starlight. They shouldn't have locked you away.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

neverduplicated
2009-08-11 06:43 pm UTC (link)

I wouldn't want you to waste a wish on me, even if you could.

Don't you understand, yet? I'm here to make a difference. I’m supposed to use my powers to make other people happy.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I think that everything happens for a reason. I think I was sent here to make a difference. There’s so much sadness here…

Maybe if I’m all light, like you say I am, they wanted me to be able to provide light for people who only know what darkness is….

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

angryjohnny
2009-08-11 06:48 pm UTC (link)

But how much difference does a light make to those who have no hope?

Too much time in darkness and our eyes are milky white, useless things, our skin covered in scales, the whole of us unfit for the world, for the real world, society at large. Unfit. Wholly unfit.

Maybe you can make a difference in here, but what difference is it, Jeannie, when we're all dying anyway? How much more light could you create if you weren't trapped behind these walls?

I just mean....it wouldn't be a waste, Starlight. It wouldn't be a waste at all.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

neverduplicated
2009-08-11 07:08 pm UTC (link)

Everyone is dying… In here, out there…it doesn’t matter. There are a lot of people who don’t have hope, but I do…I have hope that things can always be better than they are; that people can always be better, if they just try to be.

People outside of this hospital…they don’t see the light, either. And when they do, they don’t always use it for good…

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angryjohnny 2009-08-11 07:11 pm UTC (link)
	Is that my problem then? Not trying? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	neverduplicated 2009-08-11 07:16 pm UTC (link)
	You have to believe you can, first... Otherwise there's no point in trying, is there? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angryjohnny 2009-08-11 07:19 pm UTC (link)
	Jeannie.... I've fucking tried everything. Don't fucking tell me to fucking try harder. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	neverduplicated 2009-08-11 07:23 pm UTC (link)
	So, what? You're just going to give up? Even if you do, or even if you already have...I'm not going to give up on you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angryjohnny 2009-08-11 07:27 pm UTC (link)
	[strikes scribbled at but the words are dark enough to be read regardless.] ~~WHAT THE FUCK ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, EXACTLY???~~ I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just... If it was that easy, you'd have granted my wishes by now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	neverduplicated 2009-08-11 07:29 pm UTC (link)
	I never said it was easy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angryjohnny 2009-08-11 07:36 pm UTC (link)
	But you said it was possible. And it's unfair to tease that way when you know...when you know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	neverduplicated 2009-08-11 07:40 pm UTC (link)
	~~I didn't--~~ I'm sorry if I upset you, master... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angryjohnny 2009-08-11 07:48 pm UTC (link)
	Don't. Don't. Don't apologize. It's....whatever. It is what it is. It's fine. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	neverduplicated 2009-08-11 07:55 pm UTC (link)
	~~It's fine? I don't believe that at all...~~ If you say so, master. I'll be around, if you need me ~~for once~~. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	whitedove 2009-08-13 01:03 am UTC (link)
	Actually, I consider that type of patient a welcome challenge. I look forward to meeting with you soon. (Reply to this)